FYN Code of Conduct
Be aware of your surroundings and conscious of how your words or actions may affect those around you.
Be kind to your neighbors and the earth, acting with courtesy and respect.
Abide by the rules of the venue that is hosting us, which may vary from place to place.
Do not body shame. All bodies are beautiful!
Do not shame backgrounds, ethnicities, careers, political views, religious views, hobbies, physical appearances, attire, etc.
FYN accepts people from all areas of life and creates a safe space for everyone to be free.
Rule of thumb: opinions don’t matter. Be free to share them, unless it’s creating an energy of discomfort, sadness, or anger in your environment.
What is consent and why is it important?
Consent is an agreement between two or more people to engage in an interaction, such as hugging, touching, staring, making conversation, taking someone’s photo, etc. Actively checking in for consent helps people feel safe, and not doing so may create an unsafe experience. Nudity reveals a new layer of vulnerability, so it’s important we do everything we can to respect the boundaries of our community.
How do I ask for consent?
Consent is all about communication. Ask questions and pay attention to people’s body language and facial expressions. Look for enthusiasm! Sometimes consent can be implied (for example, opening arms for a hug and being happily embraced in response), but if you are not 100% sure there is consent, then assume there is not any and ASK: “Are you open to hugging?/Would you like a hug?/Can we hug?” Responses such as “maybe,” “sure,” “I guess,” or silence MEANS NO. You can ask for further clarification if you are unsure, but it is likely that if there is no enthusiastic yes, the matter should not be pressed. Keep in mind that the person may be feeling unsafe and still learning how to comfortably give consent.
How do I give consent or share boundaries?
It can be helpful to be proactive in expressing your boundaries and consent in social situations, prior to being asked. If you know you are not in a space for hugs in the moment, go ahead and share it with the group you’re in, adding that you may be open to it at another time. If you know you are a person who never/rarely wants hugs, then let your peers know in advance. If you are open to side hugs but not full frontal hugs, then it’s okay to share these specifics of your boundaries as well. You can also let people know if you’re only comfortable hugging specific people; for example, friends you are closest with and know well, as opposed to new friends or strangers. You may only feel comfortable when YOU initiate the hug or other activity, so feel free to share that if it applies.
How do I maintain consent?
Be aware that you can change your mind at any moment. Honor yourself and the other person by communicating this possibility early-on, and express it in the moment if it happens. Respect and humbly stop if someone expresses a change in consent. Consistently check in that everyone is still consenting to an experience. Some ways to do this is to ask, “Are you still enjoying this?” or say, “Please let me know if you want this to stop.” Ensure that it is clear what is being consented to. Someone may be excited to hug, but this does not mean they are comfortable with hands on their legs, nor does it mean they still want to hug the following day. They may be enthusiastic about sharing a bed, but that does not imply they are comfortable with sex. Keep checking and asking for clarity in all situations.
How do I handle receiving a “no”?
Not receiving a “yes” could trigger an emotional response in you – THAT’S OKAY. Do not pursue a change or explanation. A great way to respond to a “no” is by thanking the other person for their honesty and expression of their boundary. Do not make it about you, and respect their process and privacy. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to support the other person in feeling safe in our community, and for you to grow closer as peers. If you need support after hearing a “no,” find an AmBASHador or community member, and ask if they can hold space for you.
How do I express a “no”?
Expressing your “no” is not always easy. Remember that by doing so, you are saying “yes” to yourself! You never owe someone else a “yes,” nor do you owe anyone an explanation - whether it’s a newcomer, friend, or partner! Some examples of how to say “no” are:
-No, thank you
-Not right now
-I’m not comfortable with that
-I’m not in the mood for that
-I’m not in the space for that
-That sounds awesome, but not at this time
-I don’t want to do that, but I am open to doing this…
-I’d like to take some time to think about it
You need another person’s consent to:
-Take photos of that person
“Is everyone open to me taking a photo?”
-Message that person
“Is it alright if I send you a message?”
-Add that person on social media
“Can I add you on social media?”
-Tag that person in photos or posts
“Are you comfortable with social media tags?”
-Touch that person anywhere on their body
“Would you like me to rub your shoulders?”
-Hug that person
-Make comments about that person
“Can I compliment you?”
-Engage in conversation with that person
“Can we have a chat?/May I join this discussion?”
-Follow that person or walk with them
“Cool if I tag along?”
-Enter someone’s personal space
“Is it alright if I hang out with you all?”
If someone asks you to “stop” or says “no”, then do so. If the behavior continues, they may report the issue.
We understand that this lifestyle comes with a learning curve, so there will be warnings for misconduct. If you make a mistake, remember that most of us have been there too, so humbly receive the guidance from your community and AmBASHadors and integrate the lessons. We want to include everyone and create a safe space for all – learning and growing together! However, if there is excessive disregard to conducting oneself, or a situation arises that warrants immediate removal, FYN reserves the right to do so.
If you notice someone breaking one of our FYN rules, notify an AmBASHador as soon as you see it happen. We can only find solutions if we know about them. Please make an effort not to wait until after an event is over to report any misconduct. These situations are best handled in the moment, when there are the most active witnesses and chances to prove the claim made.
Remember to have fun and do your best to create light, fun, happy, and safe experiences for yourself and those around you! Educate yourselves and your peers by giving soft reminders when needed, and avoid expressing it in a way that could create blame or shame. We are all still learning and reprogramming our language and physical habits, so be gentle with yourself and open to evolving every moment!